Motherhood is the most “interesting” thing. I got pregnant with my first child when I was just 21. I mean it was my birthday and 3 weeks later I found out that I was pregnant. Now to be honest, reacted instead of feeling warm and fuzzy all over. I cried a lot. Then I took 3 pregnancy tests and went to the doctor and didn’t believe it was actually real until she confirmed it.
Yes I am that person. The person who didn’t know what to do with the information in front of me, so freaking out seemed like the best option at the time.
The problem was that it really interfered with my plans. I was taking film photography classes at college along with some other art classes and thought well shoot, what am I going to do now. In fact I may have said “ oh sh*t what am I going to do?” So I dropped the classes because I didn’t want my child to have 3 heads from the chemical exposure.
At that time I was newly married, trying to figure out what I was doing with my life, still caring for my father and thought to myself how am I going to bring a baby into all of this? Now to be fair I always wanted children, I always wanted marriage. But that was when I turned 30 not at 21. The plan changed. I hate when plans change.
So back to motherhood, I will have to say I’m no natural mother. Do you know what I am talking about? The women who just know everything, what nappies are, what diapers are, how to breastfeed, when to breastfeed, how to parent, how to be a soft mother and nurture your child. I have some AMAZING friends who are like these women. That the things in motherhood come natural to them, or maybe it just seems that way to me.
I studied motherhood like it was a photography class. Except half the books were contradictory to each other. So at times it just made learning how to be a mom more difficult. The worst part was I thought I had to give everything up. Photography, fashion, being myself, boy was I wrong. I swore and still may never buy a minivan, but at least now I understand why people purchase them. (They’re so roomy)
The day I stopped calling motherhood a Job I was free. It’s a choice.
It’s a choice to show up everyday even if you don’t have all the answers,
It’s a choice to be kind and nurturing
Loving
Listening
To breastfeed or not to breastfeed
To be consistent, I mean with everything. If you say no, mean it.
It’s a choice to HAVE FUN, Be playful
It’s a choice to take a moment before reacting to ALL THE Paint on the WHITE Walls.
It’s a choice to take time for you and not feel guilty.
It’s a choice to work, or stay home (no judgments here I did both)
It’s a choice to admire and think your KIDS Rock
The best part I learned these things. These simple things that honestly have made parenting much better than I have ever imagined. They didn’t come natural, because although Motherhood may be “natural” to some, everyone is learning. Everyone has to start somewhere.
Cheers Friends
-Nicole